Imagination's Door

Pantaloons and Silly Buffoons

My teacher called me "Antsy Pants",
but I don't think that's fair.
I prefer to be called "Fancy Pants",
since I wore my favorite pair.

Dad says I should have tried to enhance
my education at school.
I should have worn my smarty pants
so I won't seem a fool.

But I'm not worried about my grade
though I'm not as smart as some teens.
'Cause Grandpa says I've got it made
since intelligence runs in my jeans.

H. Dumpty, Esq.

Humpty Dumpty climbed a high wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
(I 'm beginning to doubt he's an egghead at all).

The Science of the Lambs

Jason had a little lamb
whose name was Sweet Clarisse
with fiery eyes and tiny hooves
and golden, wooly fleece.

The March of Time

Tic toc tic toc.
Seconds slip by my bedroom clock.
Minutes, hours, days and ages
vanish like the once famous sages.

Could the Mayans or Aztecs or Egyptian kings
have known the power of their time machines?
When did man become a slave
to calendars and schedules from birth to the grave?

Tic toc tic toc.
An epoch marches past my clock.

The Mongolian Steppe

My aunt Mimi's crazy and that's a fact!
She says she wants a Manchurian yak
and to live in a yurt, which is a kind of tent.
(I'm still not sure what she meant.)

But the thing that I don't understand
is why she'd leave our home for a land
where everyone lives in the open-air
and camps out year-round on a giant stair!

The Yurt

I found a cool place to rent.
It's a round Mongolian tent.
No, it's not a tee-pee.
When you visit, you'll see...
Though the floor's made of dirt,
there's nothing quite like my new yurt!

Huh?

If ginger snaps and lemon drops,
does that mean orange lollipops?

If orange slices and red gum drops,
does that mean chocolate tootsie pops?

Easy as Pi(e) or Pie R Squared

Three point one-four-one-five-nine
makes a rather lovely, circular line.

In area, it's squared and yet still round.
In mathematical circles, its fame is renowned.

To some it's irrational,
to others transcendental,

to Archimedes constant, scientists agree.
But I must confess, it's all Greek to me!

Smart Aleck

Someone must have changed my name
though I'm not sure why or who.
But this morning, at breakfast
Mom called me something new!

And when I got to school,
the teacher said it too!
I finally was recognized
for all the stuff I knew!

Then, out on the playground,
they must have heard of my fame!
'Cause all the other kids
called me by my new name!

It's good to be noticed
for being so smart!
Yep, Aleck is a good name.
It's better than the old name, Bart.

Theory of Relativity

I don't know 'bout Einstein
or quantum gravity,
but I have my very own
theory of relativity.

My mom says I'm a genius.
My dad says I'm a snot.
My sister says I'm dangerous.
My brother says I'm not.

My Aunt Mable swears, though
I'm not sure how it can be,
that she's a monkey's uncle.
Eh, it's all relative to me!

Monkey See. Monkey Do.

"Monkey see. Monkey do,"
our teacher warns as we go to the zoo.
First stop for our motley crew,
the simian house with its apes that go "oo".
Oo, ee, oo, oo.
Monkey see. Monkey do.

The chimpanzees are flinging goo.
What's that? You say it's ...poo-poo?
The boys giggle and yell, "Woo hoo!"
The girls scream a collective "ewwwww."
Teacher turns a greenish hue
as she laughs & straightens her beehive hairdo,
then smirks as she changes her warning to,
"Monkey see. Monkey doo-doo."

The Short-Sighted Man

The short-sighted man
built his house on the sand
with only a view of today.
Though he was warned
that when it stormed,
his house would wash away,
the near-sighted man
stuck his head in the sand
while the wind blew his home in the bay.

The far-sighted man
first made a plan.
He developed a strategy.
Since he knew it was sound
to build on firm ground,
he drew up a plan that he
would build his home
of mortar and stone
and avoided a tragedy.

Silly-o Things

Chicken lips.
Bison chips.
Buffalo wings.

Ranch dips.
Snake hips.
Silly-o things.

The Tree of Hope

Long ago, when the world was young,
my father gave me a seed.
He gave me a trowel and a tiny spade
and taught me to water and weed.

I made the seed an earthy bed
and covered it tenderly,
and sang of the wonders wrapped inside
that miraculous mystery.

And sometimes while it slept, I dreamt
of the greatness in that seed.
Perhaps it was a money tree
with riches enough for my need.

Or maybe it would bear a kind
of life-sustaining fruit.
I dreamt of its healing, pulpy flesh
when I spied the first green shoot.

That seed unknowingly bore my hopes
through many countless years.
I buried broken vows near it
and watered it with my tears.

No money grew on its branches.
No fruit did it yield.
And yet, my dreams seemed entwined
with that tree in the barren field.

Autumn winds stripped it bare.
Winter's bite brought freeze.
Cold, spring rains fell on it.
Summer breathed new leaves.

Then one night beneath the boughs,
I prayed for the reveille
and awoke to find a happy branch
with a marvelous swing in the tree!

Tickle Me Pink

Tickle me pink.
Tickle me blue.
Tickle me any color or hue.

Lady X and Mister E

Lady X married Mister E.
"My, what EXceptional progeny!
Don't you agree?"
ask Mrs. and Mr. E.

Blame It On the Pixies

"Did you pinch your sister?"
asked Mom angrily.
Not me! Not me!
It must have been the pixie.

"Why is your room so dirty?"
Dad asked testily.
It wasn't me! It wasn't me.
It must have been a pixie.

"Who spilled the milk?"
asked Grammy irritably.
Not me! Not me!
It must have been the pixie.

"Who wants a hug?"
asked Mother tenderly.
"Pick me! Pick me!"
yelled a pixie mischievously.

"Who dropped this shiny quid?"
asked dear, sweet Uncle Sid.
"I did! I did,"
said the pixie disguised as a kid.

Imagination's Door